SHOWING UP IN THE DOUBT - MCC STORIES
A cancer journey is exhausting, emotional, and deeply spiritual. It has drawn me closer to Jesus—but not without my fair share of doubt.
I was so relieved a couple of weeks ago when we learned more about Doubting Thomas at church. Just hearing that doubt is a normal part of the faith journey was incredibly reassuring. It's something that’s crept in and been hard to process.
I’ve never doubted that God exists or if He’s present. I’ve never stopped praying or worshipping. But there’s been this lingering sense of uncertainty—questions like “Where are you?” or “I don’t understand.”
Still, I fought it by continuing to show up. I kept worshipping. I’ve always wanted to read through the Bible in a year, and last July, I finally started. What I’ve found is that God keeps finding me in the hard.
I’m not even sure how this fits, or who needs to hear it—but keep showing up.
That same Sunday, I was hit with the realization that I’d be having scans and likely stopping treatment during Easter week. Easter week. That timing gave me chills—it made me cry and smile at the same time. We were singing “Good Plans” when it hit me: even in my doubt about what the future holds, God sees good plans.
He keeps reassuring me, helping me face my fears, and holding me tight.
Written by Cheryl Caffee
Shared with permission
I was so relieved a couple of weeks ago when we learned more about Doubting Thomas at church. Just hearing that doubt is a normal part of the faith journey was incredibly reassuring. It's something that’s crept in and been hard to process.
I’ve never doubted that God exists or if He’s present. I’ve never stopped praying or worshipping. But there’s been this lingering sense of uncertainty—questions like “Where are you?” or “I don’t understand.”
Still, I fought it by continuing to show up. I kept worshipping. I’ve always wanted to read through the Bible in a year, and last July, I finally started. What I’ve found is that God keeps finding me in the hard.
I’m not even sure how this fits, or who needs to hear it—but keep showing up.
That same Sunday, I was hit with the realization that I’d be having scans and likely stopping treatment during Easter week. Easter week. That timing gave me chills—it made me cry and smile at the same time. We were singing “Good Plans” when it hit me: even in my doubt about what the future holds, God sees good plans.
He keeps reassuring me, helping me face my fears, and holding me tight.
Written by Cheryl Caffee
Shared with permission
Posted in STORYTELLING @ MCC
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